Don't You Remember?
by ginnyweasley777
Summary: Something happens to change Matt and Emily's life forever but Matt can't remember - will Emily return to him?


A/N - Just another one-shot I've finally managed to finish. Real life is a bitch but I'll hopefully get around to updating "Turbulent Times" within the next couple of weeks. Please review and let me know what you think of this fic. Thanks

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><p><span>Don't You Remember?<span>

Matt pushed me to the ground as Ethan launched another vicious attack on him with the shovel. I rolled out of the way and watched, helpless and unable to do anything to stop him. Matt ducked under Ethan's lethal blow and almost lost his footing. Regaining it, he grappled with Ethan, but Ethan had the upper hand in the fight and knew it.

Wrenching the shovel free from Matt he swung he handle hard at him, it hit the side of his head with a dull thud. Matt crumpled to the ground under the force, unconscious.

Throwing the shovel down, Ethan ran off as I scrambled to reach Matt. Already a large lump was forming on his head. A trickle of blood ran down the side of his temple and into his hair. His face was deathly white and his eyes were closed.

The sound of gravel crunching underfoot alerted me to Captain Becker running towards us.

"We've managed to catch Ethan and I've called for a medic," he said. "They should be here soon."

center***/center

"I've told you, I'm fine," repeated Matt for the second time.

"And the medic says that you've got severe concussion and are likely to be disorientated for several days," said Jess sternly. "You've got to take it easy."

Matt stood up. "I i_need_/i to speak to Ethan. Ow!" he exclaimed, swaying dangerously.

"Careful," I warned, pushing him gently back into the seat.

"Ethan is wearing off the effects of the EMD's," replied Becker. "He still hasn't come round fully."

"Good," said Matt sourly, "But can you both just stop fussing?"

"No," I replied at exactly the same time as Jess, "you had me worried back there - you were unconscious for ages."

"Right, you need to go home and get plenty of rest," Jess said, taking charge, "and someone needs to make sure that you don't fall unconscious again."

"I'll do that," I said, "so long as someone drives us back."

center***/center

I sighed in frustration. "Matt, will you i_please_/i just stop being so stubborn and agree to sleep in the bed. I will be fine for the night; I did spend the last three years living outside. Besides, you're the one who's just been knocked out by someone who has little trouble taking down the creatures, let alone a person."

"Okay, okay," he grumbled as he walked gingerly into the bedroom.

I went into the bathroom and several minutes later emerged wearing one of Matt's shirts. There was something decidedly i_Matt_/i about them, something that made me feel safe. I couldn't quite put my finger on it but it just was.

Deciding to check on Matt, I walked over to the bedroom and knocked on the door. There was no reply so I quietly pushed the door open.

Matt was asleep and I stood there, studying him. The left side of his face was partially covered with a deep purple bruise and the cut was covered with a stark white dressing. A pang of guilt went through me as it was me he'd been protecting from Ethan. It was my fault that Ethan had even been on the loose in the first place. At least he was safely locked up now.

I don't know how long I stood there, watching the steady rise and fall of his chest under the bedcovers, but I suddenly became aware that Matt was awake and watching me. His left eye only opened a slit through the bruising but his right fixed me with a piercing gaze. I felt drawn in.

"I was just making sure you're all right," I said.

"I'm fine," he replied automatically.

I walked over to the bed and bent down next to him, looking deep into his eyes. "You know, it is acceptable for you to be i_not fine_/i sometimes."

He reached out and took my hand. "I've always had to be fine. There's never been any room for anything else in my life."

"I can imagine."

"Stay with me?" he whispered.

"I thought I was," I replied.

"I mean i_here_/i, in the bed," he replied.

My face must have shown my shock because he let go of my hand as though he'd been burnt.

I knew I shouldn't, I was a married woman after all, but without direction from me, my traitorous mouth opened and I said, "All right." It was only so I could make sure he was alright, after all.

I slipped into the bed and turned onto my side to face Matt. I was close enough that I could see the depths of the worry and all that he carried on his shoulders. Tenderly, I brushed some hair out of his eyes.

"Now will you get some rest?" I asked.

"Yeah," replied Matt.

center***/center

Groggily I awakened from my slumber to find that I was naked in the bed with Matt, his arm wrapped protectively around my waist, my head resting on his chest.

I listened to the peaceful sound of his breathing and gradually the memory of the previous night came back to me - Matt waking up and kissing me, me kissing him back with just as much passion, one thing leading to another - it was all there.

I eased out from under Matt's arm and slipped out of the bed. I pulled his shirt back on and quietly left the room to go into the bathroom. Splashing water on my face, I wondered what would happen now. Would our friendship be ruined? What did I feel for Matt? I knew I felt something but I didn't know what yet.

I was alerted that Matt was awake when I heard the bedroom door open. "Emily?" he called.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before I left the bathroom. Matt wore a look of confusion. "How come my head hurts?" he asked. "What happened?"

"What do you mean?" I asked hesitantly. "Can you not remember?"

"No, the last thing I remember is rescuing you from the coffin. I can't remember anything else."

"Nothing at all?" I asked nervously.

"No," replied Matt, "so what happened?"

"Ethan was waiting when we came out. He attacked you with a shovel and hit you pretty hard on your head. He ran off but was caught straight away by Becker and his men. You've had concussion."

"Right, well that'll be why I can't remember anything then," he said, apparently not concerned. He stepped into the kitchen and put the kettle on.

It was obvious that Matt didn't remember anything about the previous night. Perhaps it was better that way - it didn't ruin anything and would give me time to make sense of things. I valued Matt and I shouldn't have taken advantage of his groggy state to act on my feelings, even though Matt had been the one to initiate things.

center***/center

I woke up for the third morning in a row feeling sick to my stomach. Quickly, I made my way to the bathroom and several minutes later I pondered my situation as I wiped my mouth. I knew enough from all the time I'd spent with my sister during her pregnancy to know what was happening. I was pregnant - with Matt's child.

I leaned heavily against the sink. In the weeks since we'd spent the night together, Matt's memory had not come back and he remained clueless as to what had happened. I, however, was not.

The memory of that night continued to taunt me constantly, begging me to tell Matt what had happened and how I felt about him. Yes, I was a married woman, but three years had passed since I'd left my time and no other gateway had appeared for me to return through. I was loathe to go back anyway as I did not belong there.

The realisation that I was carrying Matt's child only served to further encourage the voice in my head that was urging me to tell him. But somehow I couldn't, it wasn't the sort of thing you could bring up easily in conversation and besides, Matt already had plenty on his mind.

He'd confided in me that he was from the future and had a job to do. He was literally trying to save the world. I couldn't bring myself to be the one to distract him from that; I couldn't do it to him. I knew he'd feel torn between duties if he knew.

There was one thing I did know though; I couldn't stay in Matt's flat any longer. I couldn't stay there and look him in the eye knowing what I did and how I felt but that he couldn't remember a thing. Ethan had managed to escape from the ARC several days ago and Matt's boss had been pushing for me to stay in a room there so that I was safe from Ethan. I would have to go there until I figured out how to go about things.

center***/center

It was no good, I had to take the risk and tell Matt. There was no way I could keep the baby a secret any longer, someone was bound to work it out sooner rather than later anyway.

A knock on the door pulled me from my thoughts. "Come in," I called.

The door opened and someone entered. It was Matt, almost as if my thoughts had pulled him there. He looked anxious as he stood, unwilling to meet my eyes.

"Emily," he said, "my memory has come back, well, parts of it anyway, but it's enough."

I took a sharp intake of breath. "Oh," I said simply.

"I just want to say sorry, I, I didn't mean to take advantage of you like that," said Matt, looking anywhere but at me.

"You didn't," I replied. "I certainly didn't object."

"Well…I don't want it to destroy our friendship at all - it's better all round if we just forget about it and put it behind us as just been in the heat of the moment. Besides, you know what I've got to do and I can't afford to be distracted no matter what - there's too much at stake here."

"Yes," I nodded, feeling hurt.

The anomaly alert sounded and Matt left the room quickly. He didn't see the tears which leaked from my eyes and slid silently down my cheeks. What was I supposed to do now? I knew I should have told him about the baby then but I couldn't, not when he'd just made it perfectly clear that he didn't feel anything other than friendship for me, not when he didn't want - or need - any i_distractions_/i."

center***/center

The following day I prepared to leave the ARC - and Matt - for good. Connor had said that the gateway led to the late 1860's. I could only hope that I could pretend that the child was my husbands, not that I relished the thought of returning to my husband's bed. Matt had made me feel cherished, even if it was only for one night, but Henry, all I was to him was something to return home to at night - the marriage bed was a duty and not a pleasure. However, it was my only hope as I couldn't stay in this time any longer.

It was breaking my heart to lie to Matt and I was sure I couldn't keep it up any longer. Matt had made it quite clear that he thought it best to pretend that that fateful night hadn't happened and I was unwilling to open the subject for fear of causing Matt to fail in his mission. No, I'd made my mind up. I was going back to my own time - to live yet another lie.

An hour later I was stood in front of the anomaly with Matt. "Goodbye," I said simply.

Matt reached forward and hugged me. My heart begged me to hold the embrace for longer, to tell the truth, but I couldn't - there was to be no desperate confessions from me. I pulled away and stepped backwards into the gateway until all I could see of Matt was a hazy outline through the glowing light. I turned and stepped back into Victorian London - the last place I ever imagined returning to.

center***/center

Months later I stumbled through another gateway and instantly knew I'd come to the right time. There could be no mistaking the deafening noise of the vehicles on the road and the bustle of people on the busy street only feet away.

I moved closer to the end of the alleyway and waited, I knew they would come. I placed a hand on my stomach and smiled when I felt the baby kick. It wouldn't be long now before he or she was born. When I'd returned to my own time I'd immediately felt guilty as soon as the gateway had closed behind me, guilty for not telling Matt that he was going to be a father, guilty for keeping secrets for him, but the gateway had closed and there was supposed to be no going back.

The screech of tyres made me look round. Matt was jogging towards me, an EMD in his hand. The time had come to tell the truth, no matter what the consequences.

"Emily!" he exclaimed, "What are you doing back here?"

"I can't stay in my own time any longer," I said simply.

Matt's eyes strayed to my swollen stomach. "Tell me later, let's get you back to the ARC first."

I remained silent throughout the journey and Matt didn't press me for details. He just kept glancing at me as though he wanted to say something but didn't.

"Emily!" squealed Jess as she ran to hug me, "I knew you'd be back."

"I wish I had," I murmured.

"When are you due?" she asked.

"Soon," I replied. "Listen, I need to talk to Matt first."

"Okay, go on then," she said brightly.

I made my way over to Matt and he gestured for me to follow him. We entered an empty office and I sat down heavily on a chair. Matt leaned casually against the wall.

"So, why did you go through an anomaly when you didn't know where it lead to?" he asked with a hint of anger in his voice. "You could have been killed!"

"But I wasn't," I countered. "I went through because I had to take the risk, I i_had_/i to find my way back here."

"Why? Why was it so important to you?" he asked.

"Because I couldn't live a lie in my own time anymore. I don't belong there."

"Not that it isn't good to see you, but what about your child? Doesn't he or she belong back there?" asked Matt.

"No," I replied firmly, "the baby isn't my husband's, it's yours."

Matt's face registered his shock and it seemed that it was only the wall which was keeping him upright. "What, really?" he asked.

I nodded. "I'm sorry, I made some bad decisions and I should have told you."

"You i_knew_/i," he exclaimed.

"Yes, but I didn't want to distract you from your mission. I knew as soon as the anomaly closed behind me that I should have told you."

"But how have you managed, your husband…"

"I managed to convince him that the baby was his when he found out. It was fine at first, well as fine as being married to Henry could be, but then he worked out that the baby wasn't his. I thought he was going to kill me but he threw me out instead. I've been on the lookout for an anomaly since then."

"I don't know what to say," replied Matt.

"If you don't want anything to do with us then that's fine." My voice broke a little as I said this but I forced myself to continue. "I just need to me able to stay in this time. I can't live in my own anymore and I don't want our child brought up in the past, he or she belongs here."

"I should never have let you leave in the first place," Matt suddenly blurted out. "I never meant to hurt you. I didn't want to put you in danger by letting you know just how I felt about you. That's why I pushed you away when my memory came back. I'm sorry you felt you couldn't tell me about the baby."

I was stunned. "I never knew - I don't want you to feel obliged because of the baby though. When you couldn't remember I couldn't just tell you I was carrying your child - you'd never have believed me anyway - and when you made it clear to me that you wanted nothing more than friendship I thought it best that I left."

"I told you I wanted you to think that, but it wasn't how I felt. I want to make this work and I'm not just saying it because of the baby," said Matt, walking over to me and bending down. He took my face in his hands and kissed me.

After several seconds I pulled back and whispered, "Are you sure? I don't want to distract you."

"Positive," he replied. "Everything with Phillip Burton is over now and I've always wanted a family, I just never thought I could have one before. To be honest, I haven't been able to stop thinking and wondering…Abby said only yesterday that I should find out…"

"Shh," I said. "It doesn't matter now."


End file.
